sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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