this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
