Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize