Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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