Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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