just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
