I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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