During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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