remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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