Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
