how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
