Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
