Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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