Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
