I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
