We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
