we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
