its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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