please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
