I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
