Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
