she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize