If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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