why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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