I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
