I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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