Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
