By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize