So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
