I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize