you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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