i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
And then he peed in my hair
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