its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
We don't watch enough power rangers
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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