Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize