he was CRYING into my vagina
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
