Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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