My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
