Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
