remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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