got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Randomize
