I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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