this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
