How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
