We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
