I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
