I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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