i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
