Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Randomize
