at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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