i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
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