How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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