just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
