There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
