what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
