i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
