Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
