once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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