Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
