Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
don't judge my taste in strippers
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
