im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
