We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
