**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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