Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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