i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
