I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
