this will be a night to untag.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
