the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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