I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize