your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
