who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
