and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
