The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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