I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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