I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
