Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
