i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize