If that was your dad, he is hot
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
