My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
